I have recently come to discover that parts of my mind have turned to mush. There's just too many things in my head. My grocery list, my to-do list, meal plans for my family, my work responsibilities, etc.
Caring for my daughter the past 10 years has meant a good chunk of my brain power has went into learning about her different diagnoses, tracking medications, operating medical equipment, keeping track of appointments, and remembering her extensive health history.
Through different scenarios, I have discovered how difficult some very simple things are for me for no good reason at all except that I have too much on my mind. They are:
My date of birth
Seriously, this is no joke. When someone needs my date of birth, I have to pause and take a second to think. I am accustomed to rattling off my daughter's date of birth at all of her medical appointments. I'm programmed to give hers and not mine. Sometimes the person waiting for my answer notices my hesitation, and I have to explain myself so they don't think I am giving a false identity.
My own health history
Yes, yes this is sad too. I really have to think about questions regarding my own past surgeries and hospital admissions. I shouldn't have to think, because I don't have anything to remark about myself. However, I am use to writing out an essay for these questions on forms for Jaycee. Before my pen marks "none" in the space provided on my health history questionaires, I have to take a second to remember that nothing has happened to me worth noting.
My last medical exam
I rely on my planner to keep track of all the family appointments. When the doctor does not automatically book my next appointment, I struggle to remember when I last saw them. Sometimes, I get to the end of the year and realize that I probably should have had some sort of physical exam for myself. All those times in the waiting room with my daughter have blurred together leaving me in a state of confusion as I try to remember when I was last in one for myself.
Oh good gracious! Please don't ask me what I do in my spare time. What are my hobbies? Hmmmm. Cross-stitching? I haven't done that in 10 years. Exercise? Nope--that would be a lie. Checking medicines and washing medical equipment probably doesn't count. Does it? I do dabble in writing I suppose. Does Netflix, Words with Friends, and Candy Crush count? My mind can't take too much more than that by the end of the day.
So, I may have a bit of trouble remembering some simple things quickly. But, there are some things that I don't have to think hard about. I love my family. I love my life. And, being a mother is the biggest honor, even if it means I lost the ability to say my date of birth quickly.