Tuesday, March 28, 2017

My Fight with Germs & Toothpicks

The last few weeks at my house have been... Which adjective to choose?

Germy would be accurate since 3 out of 4 people have had some sort of illness in the house. Exhausting would be another word to strongly describe how I have felt after taking care of my daughter Jaycee during her respiratory illness that has required many extra breathing treatments, vest airway clearance, and other medications. That leads me to stressful, which is how I felt watching numbers on Jaycee's monitor -willing them to stay high enough to prevent the hospital. Chaotic also describes the days and nights while this occurred since everything got disrupted by treatments.

Jaycee doing vest airway clearance after a breathing treatment.

After a long day in the middle of this illness situation last week, I was preparing the evening meal for my family.

As I reached for the colander to drain some delicious noodles, I accidently hit an opened box of toothpicks. Before my eyes, I saw dozens of three inch tiny wooden picks fly through the air. With the colander in hand, I debated on launching it across the room momentarily. Normally, I don't throw things. But in that moment, for a second, it was a thought I had. After all, I was in the kitchen alone. No one would have seen me do it and maybe it would have made me feel better for a split second.

Instead, I took that plastic blue colander and set in gently on the counter. Then I proceeded to pick up toothpicks from the floor, counters, stove, and a few other places they seemed to have managed to settle in.

After I threw the toothpicks away, I felt God say to me, "Good job."

Excuse me?

I was steaming at the mess I made and on the verge of a breakdown because the demands of the day were just about too much. I didn't understand what I had done good.

Then I pictured myself throwing that innocent colander that was in my hand a few minutes before and how I had the self-control to set it down and not give in to anger.

It may seem small, but I had just won a battle.

As a Christian, I feel I am constantly making decisions and moves that bring me closer to God or not. A thought, that was not of God, entered my mind, yet I resisted it. I decided not to throw the colander and go on with life.

There are times when I don't give myself enough credit. I get upset that I allow a sickness to bring feelings of stress in my life. I get frustrated with fears that pop in my mind when I hear Jaycee's loud breathing. I wonder if and when I am going to handle these situations better. Even though I have work to do, I'm not doing everything wrong.

Sometimes, I need to acknowledge that a day was hard and I did the best I could.

And other times, I need to celebrate the fact that I didn't lose my cool when toothpicks go flying.

What about you? I bet you have had a small victory in your life. Take time to celebrate that moment this week.

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