"We are going to make this happen," I said out loud while getting ready to go out.
My husband naturally asked, "Make what happen?"
"Whoops! Did I say that out loud? I guess I did since you heard it," I said.
I normally don't talk to myself like that. I had been in prayer for awhile that morning. It was the first day of this new year. I was asking God about goals for the year and the timing of things that have been on my heart for awhile now.
I had a really good prayer time with God. During that prayer time, God showed me how I put things off for a time when Jaycee's health is better or when things are calm for a long period of time. There isn't hardly ever a "good time" for me. I realized that I have just let some dreams remain dreams because I never did anything to get the ball rolling. I have read before that dreams are merely wishes if you never put any effort into them or do anything with them.
I also realized that I have become pessimistic. I actually knew that before the prayer time, but I didn't realize how it was affecting me entirely. I remembered back when Jaycee was being released from the hospital after a 4 week admission just a few months ago. She was so weak; she couldn't walk or do almost anything she did before being in the hospital. I sat around and thought of all the reasons why it was a bad idea to bring her home: our house isn't wheelchair accessible, she can't sit or stand for a bath, she can't use the potty, I am already sore from trying to move and lift her here, she will require nearly constant supervision, she will take medicine every couple of hours around the clock.... My husband is the one who told me that we could do it and make things happen to bring her home. And we did. It was hard but it was only for a season and it was the right decision. On my own though, I couldn't think of one positive thing that would come from bringing her home in that condition.
But, there are other ways I'm pessimistic. Just a few weeks ago, my friend mentioned going to the beach in an upcoming trip. I said, "That sounds like a nightmare." When she asked why, I started out my wonderful list: I can't use Jaycee's stroller in the sand, she has been irritated with sand being on her before, she can't swim, my son can't swim, it may be crowded, she might run off... The beach? Without thinking, the answer is NO!
The prayer time with God showed me that instead of making my list of why something won't work or why something is a bad idea, I should be thinking of ways to make it happen. I shouldn't be afraid of new experiences and let my family miss out because I can think of a dozen or more ways why something could be too hard. In other words, I need to have a mind shift.
So, as I was pondering what God was showing me and as I thought about things I have put off, I said, "We are going to make this happen," while putting my shoes on with my husband standing next to me.
I explained it to my husband. And now, it is our family motto for the year. We've never had a family motto but now is a good time to start one. Let's see what we can make happen this year. As for the beach, I'm still praying about it. I might even need to fast about that one!