Wednesday, June 11, 2014


The first time I cheated I wasn't sure what I was doing. My daughter was about 2 years old or so, and I was unhappy in my relationship with her doctor (#1). I toyed around with the thought of changing doctors.

Doctor #1 was really great. She was a woman and a mother, which made her compassionate and understanding. She spent time talking to me and listening to me. Even if I was overreacting about something, she had a nice way of telling me to calm down. Because Jaycee was a "sick" baby, if I called to get an appointment for an illness, they would work her in no matter what. The staff was nice. But there were some problems.

Doctor #1 was a 40 minute drive from my house. It wasn't uncommon for us to go to the doctor two or more times a month when she was a baby. The distance was difficult when I needed to get her seen right away but also had to schedule around my work and other appointments. The distance was the major problem with Doctor #1, especially as time went on.

Doctor #1 went to electronic medical records after I started going there. Due to the nature of the records and the things required for every visit, I grew weary of the same questions I was asked every time. What medications is she on? What kind of formula? How many wet diapers does she have a day? Is she doing this or that? Yes, these were important. But, if I'm there three weeks in a row, not much is going to change. I didn't like having to list off the medicines and doses, etc. every time. I got tired of going over and over all of this stuff. I also felt that instead of just going over my concerns and speaking to me, the nurse spent most of her time with her back to me firing questions off so she could type them in. All of this sent me looking for some one new.

So I decided to try a local nurse practitioner ("Doctor 2") that was only 6 miles from my house. I took Jaycee a few times to see if Dr. #2 was comfortable with Jaycee's extensive health history and to determine if I liked the care she would receive from him. I was in limbo between Dr. #1 and Dr. #2, not sure who to commit to. After a few trips to Dr. #2, he asked me if she was now in his care. I told him if he felt comfortable then I would get her records sent to him and continue on. From then on, Jaycee and I have been with Dr. #2.

The problem was that I never told Dr. #1. A couple of months went by and Dr. #1's office called to schedule an appointment. It was during that awkward phone call that I "broke up" with Dr. #1. I told her receptionist how much I appreciated her and liked her but the distance was getting hard. It was lame. It wasn't very mature, but our relationship was finally over. No more cheating.

Six months ago, I found myself cheating again. Out of frustration of Jaycee being admitted in the hospital for 6 months in a row, I took my friend's advice and sought out a second opinion on her lungs. Jaycee had been seeing Pulmonary doctor #1 for about 6 years. She is very friendly and knowledgeable. I had no beef with her either but I couldn't stop one thought. What if there was someone else who knew something that could make her healthier?

I decided to cheat again. I didn't tell Pulmonary #1 what I was doing. I really didn't expect anything new to change as a result of seeing Pulmonary #2,so I thought I would tell Pulm #1 if some how this new doctor found or did something different. So, off I went a few months ago seeing new doctors, running tests, making adjustments to her medicines all without telling Pulmonary #1. It turned out that Pulmonary #2 had new ideas and new information for me.

A couple of weeks ago, I told Pulmonary #1 in person what I had done, what changes I made, and that I was seeing someone new (Pulmonary #2). She was fine with it because she admitted that Jaycee was so complex that this may bring about new information. In short, she was fine with bringing another person into our relationship. But, I needed to pick one to call the shots and be the lead.

The past few weeks I have been weighing the pros and cons on these two pulmonologists. #1 is 2 hours away. #2 is 3.5 hours away. #2 is too far away to go when she's sick, so #1 will be taking care of her in the hospital. Both are nice, understanding, and listen to my concerns. #2 works with a group of people that are highly interested in sleep apnea. #2 treats her more aggressively with medications. #1 is more conservative in her treatment.

In the end, a decision must be made. I know what I need to do, but I'm reluctant to do it. Change is hard. Hopefully all the cheating will be worth it in the end. And I hope I'll never have the need to cheat again.

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