Monday, November 9, 2015

Order in the Chaos

My life feels chaotic often. Surgeries, hospital admissions, and illnesses with Jaycee have created times of complete chaos in our lives. They disrupt work schedules and obligations, cancel vacations, and force us to stay away from crowds of people and their germs. One illness can affect our lives for weeks making it difficult for me to even get to the grocery store.

As a Christian, I often look for "signs" that God is in our situation. These signs come in all different forms. A sign could be a meaningful scripture I read during my Bible time, a text from a friend at just the right moment, a song that speaks to me, or something out of the ordinary that happens.

Last week, I got a new sign that I needed after another recent hospital admission. It's hard not to feel beat down after another admission and another three weeks of chaos in our lives. I wasn't necessarily praying for a sign. I just wanted to know God was here and that He cared for my family during all the chaos.

So last week, I was standing in Jaycee's bedroom next to her chair giving her a puff from her inhaler for the umpteenth time in her life. I looked up at the memory box hanging on her wall directly in front of me. The box has her hospital bracelets and the ultrasound telling us that our sweet baby was to be a girl. For some reason, my eye was drawn to the date of the ultrasound. And there it was....a sign. A neon, flashing bright sign! October 19, 2005 

Did I read that right? My eyes checked it again and again. I couldn't believe this important day in our lives was on October 19.

What's the deal with the date you ask?

If you study my blogs intensely, you might know. But if not, I'll go over it again.

In 2013, septic shock, ARDS, respiratory failure, pneumonia, and rhinovirus almost took Jaycee's life. She survived a 4 week nightmare and was discharged on October 19, 2013.

One year later, she was baptized in our church on October 19. It was only after the baptism that I was able to connect the dots by going through her old posts on a website I use to keep family and friends updated on her health. When I found the October 19, 2013 to 2014 connection, I was ecstatic. It was a sign then to me that God was reclaiming that time in Jaycee's life for good.

Here I was standing looking at Jaycee on October 19th, 2005 through an ultrasound picture in her memory box (the white box to the left of the door). I couldn't help but smile as I looked to the right of the door. There in the black frame was Jaycee's baptism on October 19th, 2014. Two pictures feet away from each other on the same day 9 years apart. I couldn't have planned that better if I tried....the ultrasound showing Jaycee before she born near the picture showing Jaycee being baptized to new life.
Are you still wondering what the big deal is?
To me, it signaled that there's actually a Godly order among the chaos happening, assuring me that God is around. But maybe it takes me awhile to notice!

1 comment:

  1. Your life sounds like a Laura Shigihara song.

    "Would you hold me so I'd never be afraid
    As the sky falls down around us now?
    If you tell me everything will be okay,
    I'll believe you. You don't have to tell he how."--Jump, Laura Shigihara

    "And though again I'll turn away,
    Your love still remains.
    Call me home to day"--Call me Home, Laura Shigihara

    "You are to me my poetry,
    The one I've been dreaming of so long."--Look Up at the Sky, Laura Shigihara

    "Even when the darkness closes in all around us,
    I will be together with you"--Look Up at the Sky, Laura Shigihara


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