As we are starting to pack up our belongings, this special wall is one thing that cannot go with us. I think back to almost 10 years ago as I traced Jaycee's hands and feet, cut out the pattern, drew the prints out on her bedroom wall, and then painted them.
These hand and foot prints have a special meaning for me. It's true that I traced these when Jaycee was a newborn to mark her time as a baby, but it went beyond that.
When this paint went on the wall, I was in an all out spiritual battle. I was caring for this sweet newborn girl as I adjusting to the news of her Down syndrome, AV canal heart defect, congestive heart failure, and pulmonary hypertension. Her future seemed so uncertain. I was worried about many, many things including if she was going to survive the next year.
When I decided to paint this, it made her nursery more personalized. But, the main reason I did this was to have a permanent marker in her room in case something happened to Jaycee before, during, or after her heart surgery. I was afraid she was going to die. Fear motivated it and a dozen other things I did in case the worst happened. While I had fear, I also had faith. I prayed for Jaycee to be fine and to live. I wanted her to be alright but I wasn't 100% sure she was going to be.
Years later, I now know that my worst fears didn't come true. Time gives us a perspective that we all wished we had sooner. The only way to get through those tough times is to live through them, which thankfully we all did.
In a few weeks, I'll have to say good-bye to the hand and foot prints on the wall as we head to our new house. I have something better than painted prints on a wall for our new house- I have Jaycee!