What is a Woman Entitled to? Thoughts on pregnancy, babies, and abortions

There is a desire within many women to have children. It is a woman's right to have children if they are so able to conceive them. Many of us accept this right. There is no one in America forcing abortions nor are there laws limiting pregnancies or the number of children one mother can have. If a woman here chooses to have a baby, then they are generally supported under almost every circumstance.

Medical advances have even allowed women struggling to conceive to achieve pregnancy when they couldn't otherwise do it on their own. Fertility treatments are accepted in our society. There is support for the idea that we believe that all women should have the opportunity to bear children.

But what happens to that woman after there is a successful pregnancy?

Is it reasonable to expect a healthy and typically developing fetus?

Where do rights end and entitlements begin?

When it comes to pregnancies and Down syndrome, there seems to be a worldview that can't be denied. As I have previously written about, Iceland has a 100% abortion rate when a fetus is prenatally diagnosed with Down syndrome. 100%!

Other statistics also show the majority of women will choose termination of the pregnancy when Down syndrome is diagnosed. I have read many reasons that women give for this decision:
-They believe a child with Down syndrome would not enjoy their life.
-They believe they would not be capable of taking care of a child with special needs.
-The woman feels there is a stigma associated with being a parent/family of a child with special needs.
-Doctors encourage the women that they can easily try again.
-The women believe their child's life span will be shortened.
-The women have great fears about their child's future and possible complications.
-They believe they will be raising this child for the rest of their lives.
-The condition is not reversible and the severity of problems cannot be predicted.
-They believe it is the best thing for their child.
-They believe that raising this child would be too costly.

Beyond termination rates, there seems to be increasing pressures around the world to not judge those who choose termination and accept the individual's choice in the matter. In November of last year, France banned a telecast of a short video called "Dear Future Mom," which showed people with Down syndrome leading happy and productive lives. The Council of State declared the video “inappropriate” for television broadcast because it is “likely to disturb the conscience of women who had lawfully made different personal life choices,” i.e., those who had aborted their babies with Down syndrome. An article on the Huffington Post recently reported that the Netherlands Minister of Health had this to say in regards to Non Invasive Prenatal Testing that will be available to all pregnant women there, “If freedom of choice results in a situation that nearly no children with Down syndrome are being born, society should accept that.”

No ma'am. I will not accept that.

As I have read through many stories on increasing abortion rates in countries who mandate prenatal screenings, I am left with one question.

What are women entitled to?

And that question sparks other questions:

Are women entitled to healthy babies?
When a woman decides to get pregnant, should that mother acknowledge that there is a certain amount of "risk" involved?
Doesn't parenting any child involve challenges and risks?
Is an abortion really merciful if you take away any chance the child had at life?
Should women determine if a diagnosis warrants a death sentence?
How is the proposed worth of life being determined?
Are women who hold strong convictions about equality committing discrimination against their own children when they choose termination?

I realize that these are not easy questions and generate a wide variety of answers.

I do believe though that EVERY fetus has a right to life. That is a right that should not be denied. The idea that should change is a woman's entitlement to a healthy child. That should not be a guarantee because it is unnatural to expect perfection.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I never feared having a child with any problems. I did not want prenatal testing because I wasn't going to terminate no matter the outcome. (That was still true for the pregnancy with my son later.) However, I never thought disability in any form would happen to my child.

When my daughter was born with Down syndrome and heart defects, I did have to work through many emotions and thoughts I had in my life about justice and fairness. I learned just how selfish my heart was. I felt I deserved a healthy child because I was a good person and a person of faith. When my expectation did not match up to reality, I had to come to understand some flawed ideas in my personal worldview.

Through my experience with my daughter, I understood that no one is guaranteed perfection in life. I had no control over the gender of the baby or its physical development. When I became pregnant, there were a million different things that could have went wrong (or right) with my baby. Down syndrome was something that could have happened to anyone's pregnancy, but it occurred with mine. There are no guarantees in life. I was never entitled to a perfect, healthy baby even though the odds were in my favor.

Here's something that my husband and I want you to know:

It is much more compassionate to give your life in service to another human being than to never give that person an opportunity to exist.

Don't be afraid of a diagnosis. Don't be afraid of the life you will lead. You are stronger than you think. Your capacity to love will be greater than you dreamt. You might not have imagined this life for yourself or your child but it does not mean it will be a disappointment.

"A World Without Down's Syndrome"- My Take

Have you ever watched or read something that resonated with you strongly?

That happened to me recently. Twitter was all abuzz about a BBC documentary "A World Without Down's Syndrome." The hashtags #justaboutcoping, #worldwithoutdowns, and #worldwithdowns grabbed my attention. I decided I had to check this documentary out for myself.

Sally Phillips, an actress, screenwriter, and mother to a child with Down syndrome, tries to explain the complexities that arise when countries mandate prenatal tests, which have become more accurate in definitively diagnosing Down syndrome.

I'll be honest, I thought the title was a little attention grabbing when I heard it. There is no possible way that this world would ever be rid of the genetic condition of Down syndrome. Even though, I am aware that abortion rates are extremely high when babies are prenatally diagnosed, I have always felt there would be a pocket of people who could accept a baby with Down syndrome.

After watching this documentary, I felt much less optimistic. In the UK, 90% of mothers decide to terminate pregnancies in which Down syndrome is diagnosed in screenings. In the UK, late term abortions are permitted due to Down syndrome being considered a severe disability. In Iceland, the documentary reports the number of terminations became 100% after screenings were mandated. How is 100% even possible?

When the credits rolled at the end, I wept like a baby. I cried for the ignorance of people. I cried for the injustice of the unborn whose lives are never lived just because a test shows they are going to be different. I shed tears over the fact that people do not want to have a child like mine. I sobbed for the women who are put in this situation to decide. And, I prayed for the people of this world and their skewed definition of humanity.

Surely this documentary was biased right?

I don't want to believe we live in a world that views people with disabilities as "burdens" and questions their right to life. But, then I read other things online too. Take Richard Dawkins, a scientist, who said on Twitter it would be immoral to carry on with a pregnancy with Down syndrome. He offered no apology for his statement claiming that he was approaching this subject in a logical way, and that the woman ultimately has the right to choose and try again.


I had a dozen questions in my mind after watching this documentary such as:
-What constitutes a good life?
-Or better yet...what is the purpose of life? Success? Achievements? Independence?
-Is the termination of a pregnancy confirmed with Down syndrome seen as a mercy for the unborn baby or an escape for the parent who was expecting a child with no disability?
-If Down syndrome is a reason for termination, where is that line for other disabilities or conditions? In other words, what are "acceptable" conditions that termination would seem inappropriate for?
-Should every pregnant woman expect/deserve a healthy baby? Is it a right of the woman to receive a healthy baby?
-Should a fetus only be guaranteed its life when it's genetically perfect?
-Why is disability/Down syndrome perceived so, so negatively?
-Is our world simply chasing after perfection, which will truly never really exist?

These are questions with no good answers.

You see I don't believe God intended for us to make these decisions that science now allows us to make. I fear for those with disabilities who, in my opinion, face the greatest discrimination with smallest amount of advocates.

My daughter has taught me that a world with Down syndrome is not so scary. When we were first told Jaycee had Down syndrome, I knew of 1 person in our community with Down syndrome. One! Since then, I have met other people with Down syndrome in our local community, but we felt isolated for so long.

Because of that feeling of isolation, we made a choice early on to try to integrate Jaycee into the community. She attends church with us. She attends public school. We try to take her to community festivals or parades when possible. I have written a few articles for our local newspaper regarding Down syndrome and have arranged public fundraisers for our Down syndrome Association. All of these are our family's attempts at normalizing Down syndrome in our community.

We have always felt we may never be able to reach the world about acceptance of those with Down syndrome, but we may be able to impact the people around us. Hopefully these people know that we support a world with Down syndrome.

Pro-life: Babies and beyond

I'm a firm believer that every baby has a right to life. I know there are many that share this belief too. There are also many who do not have this view. This post is not to persuade those who are pro-choice. This is a post to challenge people who are already pro-life. 

Let's imagine a scenario: A young mother learns her fetus has Down syndrome.

When you believe that abortion is always wrong, then you believe that every baby born with all sorts of medical and developmental challenges should be given a chance at life. So in our scenario, this mother does not choose abortion and wants to have her baby with Down syndrome regardless.

While I didn't know my daughter had Down syndrome when I was pregnant, it would not have mattered to me. I believe the world we live in is full of diseases and conditions that God never intended for anyone to have. Yet, the world is full of evil and bad things because the world is not heaven-it's not perfect. Perfect souls are born in bodies that are imperfect. Who am I to say whose life is or is not "worthy"?

Now, let's think more about that young mother after she delivers a baby with Down syndrome. Let's further pretend she is a Christian, church going person and has supportive friends and family.

Now, imagine the reactions to the mother, who was supported to choose life for her baby while pregnant, when she settles in to life back home in her community and church. You might think everyone is happy and positive. You might be a person who provides such encouragement.

But let me tell you what really happens when you give birth to a baby with a disability and medical complications.
-There are many more people who say "I'm sorry" or nothing at all than "Congratulations!" upon the birth. Why is that?

-There are looks of pity or sadness from people who hear the news or see your child for the first time. Where does this attitude come from?

-There are people in church who insist your child must be healed or delivered from this problem. These people may start prayer chains and put the baby's name on every known prayer list. What message is that sending?

-There are people in the church who will ask the parents if they sinned causing this child to be born like this. Think this doesn't happen? Think again! It happened to my husband and I more than once! And what underlying tone is sent with that message?


I find it very confusing that people who are pro-life for prenatally diagnosed babies before they are born don't seem to have good feelings and expectations after the baby is born. It seems there is an attitude where anything outside the realm of typical is considered undesirable, even among Christians.

Yes, I believe in prayer. Yes, I believe in healing. But, how can the church reach those with disabilities if we are viewing them as people who are only in need of something (prayer, healing) and not people who can give something (love, happiness)?


We need more people who are pro-life champions for those with disabilities throughout a life-span-not just in utero! If we really believed, every life is worth something and a soul that matters, then we would NOT say things like:

-I'm sorry your baby was born with ________.

-I don't care what gender our baby is as long as it's healthy.

-Maybe you miscarried your baby because something was wrong with the baby. You wouldn't want that would you?


Instead we would say things like:

-I know it's going to be hard because your baby was born with ____ but your baby is a life with worth. I'm here to help you.

-Congratulations on your baby.

-I'm blessed to be pregnant and blessed to have any child.

-I am sorry you had a miscarriage. How can I help?



So I challenge those of you who are pro-life. How can you do better? What attitudes to do you need to reexamine to support pro-life throughout a person's life?

This post is for Down syndrome Awareness Month where bloggers write for all 31 days of October for Trisomy 21. I am part of this 31 for 21 challenge. During the month of October, the NDSS asks that we celebrate people with Down syndrome and make others aware of abilities and accomplishments. Individuals with Down syndrome have abilities that need to be celebrated!

What Pro-life Should Mean

I'm a firm believer that every baby has a right to life. I know there are many that share this belief too. This is not a post to convert people to become pro-life. This is a post to challenge people who are already pro-life. 

When you believe that abortion is wrong, then you believe that every child born with all sorts of medical and developmental challenges should be given a chance at life. I believe this. I believe the world we live in is full of diseases and conditions that God never intended for anyone to have. Yet, the world is full of evil and bad things because the world is not heaven-it's not perfect. Perfect souls are born in bodies that are imperfect. Regardless of your thoughts on this subject, let's just talk about what happens after a pro-life decision is made after a prenatal diagnosis. Then what....

Raising children with special needs (or special purpose as I call it) is difficult. Outsiders do not often know how to support these families. When my daughter was born with Down syndrome and a heart defect, I got more "I'm sorry" statements then "congratulations." We had a few people literally cry with sadness while seeing our baby for the first time. The attitude of most Americans is basically-anything outside the realm of typical is considered undesirable.

It's hard to know what to say and do in situations when a disability is involved. But I wonder how many people are pro-life champions but go on to look at babies and people with disabilities with wrong attitudes. I think if we truly believed every life is worth something and is a blessing, we would stop saying things like:
-I'm sorry your baby was born with ________.
-I don't care what gender our baby is as long as it's healthy.
-Maybe you miscarried your baby because something was wrong. You wouldn't want that would you?
-Maybe your miscarriage was actually a good thing in disguise.

Instead we would say things like:
-I know it's going to be hard because your baby was born with ____ but your baby is a gift. I'm here to help you.
-Congratulations on your baby.
-I'm blessed to be pregnant and blessed to have any child.
-I'm sorry you had a miscarriage and your baby's life ended abruptly.  How can I help you?

Maybe if people were truly pro-life, they wouldn't stare at people with disabilities. They would teach their children to respect and value all people. They would make an effort to reach out to families who are raising children with disabilities. People in church would be more willing to accommodate children with disabilities even if it's not convenient.