Friday, May 17, 2013

Saying I do and Meaning It

10 years ago today, I stood in a church next to my handsome guy and became his wife. We did the normal vows. For better or worse, sickness and health...  I think we both took those vows expecting things to go a certain way. I never imagined having a special purposed child. Honestly, the idea never entered my mind.

Through every up and down with my special purposed child, my husband and I have been together. He's helped me when I was worried about Jaycee's health. He's reassured me things would be fine when I was convinced that they wouldn't be. He's watched the kids from time to time when I just needed a nap! He's been there for me and I have been there for him. I can't imagine raising our special purposed child without him and his support.

So here's my top 4 pieces of humble marital advice:
-Sleep in the same bed. We always sleep together (unless someone is sick and willingly goes to the couch). Never send someone to the couch or the floor if you are arguing. It builds a wall.
-Never threaten divorce or leaving. Marriage vows are intended to be made forever. Joking or threatening to end the marriage puts seeds of doubt between the two of you. Don't say it!
-Realize that having a special purposed child can be stressful. Be honest about your feelings with your spouse and ask for breaks if you need them. Understand that arguments between the two of you in high stress situations are mainly due to high stress. Take a breath and discover ways to work through these times while supporting each other.
-Go to church together. You both need to have the same spiritual foundation and be on the same page. When a crisis arises, you will need your own individual faith to help you. When your faith is added to your partner's it becomes unbreakable.

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