Have you ever looked back and asked yourself why you got so worried or upset over a situation? Maybe you looked back and realize things that felt VERY important at the time didn't really matter at all later.
The passage of time allows us to have a different viewpoint and understand things that can't be comprehended in present circumstances.
Since becoming a parent, there are certain thoughts that have ran through my head at various times:
Will it always be this hard?
Will my daughter live through this present health crisis?
Will my daughter be able to ____ one day?
What will my family look like in the future?
These are questions that can't be answered. Only time will allow me see what these answers will be.
Recently, God used the gift of time to show me something about some of my questions.
Let's go back....
In March 2010, my husband and I went on a date. Our son was 7 months old at the time, and our daughter was 4. In the 4 years of being a parent, our daughter had 2 open heart surgeries and 2 other minor surgeries. She had been in the hospital a few times for respiratory illnesses and required daily medications for her lungs. It had been a very rewarding and challenging 4 years.
My husband and I had been immersed in the world of raising a child with a developmental disability with chronic health problems, so taking this night to ourselves was rare. Our special night out included VIP tickets to see Skillet and Toby Mac. These are two Christian musical artists that we absolutely loved. It was the first time Toby Mac had a concert near us, and I was not going to miss out.
Skillet's part of the night was unforgettable. It was the first time my husband and I had seen fire blazing on stage in tune with music. I was smiling, laughing, and in an awe of what my eyes were seeing.
Then my crummy thoughts came.
Will I ever be able to do something like this with my daughter?
Back then, I never saw it happening. I couldn't take her out in public at the time without her running off or making a scene. I didn't even know with her lung and heart problems if she would be able to live to see double digits. This unanswerable question in my head tried to ruin the concert.
My joy momentarily waivered as I tried to put this question out of my head. As Toby Mac sang and danced, I couldn't help but feel happy. My husband and I had a great time!
Now, it's time to fast-forward to 2017....
Earlier this month, my husband, daughter, son, and I sat on a grassy hill inside a theme park listening to guitars and drums on a large stage. Skillet was performing, and the four of us were equally enthusiastic to hear our favorite songs.
My daughter pointed to the smoke that went off during a song and exclaimed, "Dada!!"
"Yes! That's cool isn't it," my husband told her.
As we sang and jumped and clapped and cheered, God reminded me of a thought that I had forgotten about.
God took me back to my last Skillet concert 7 years prior when I wondered if Jaycee would be able to do this very thing she was doing. For a second, I got a little teary eyed watching my kids enjoy the very loud music. The desire of my heart was fulfilled!
As I said, time gives a gift of perspective. I just have to be more patient to see the good things coming!
Here's Jaycee being amazed by Skillet:
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