If I Could Interview My Child's New Teacher

In a few weeks, my daughter with Down syndrome and minimal verbal skills will not be walking in to her old familiar classroom full of friends. Our little world is about to change. 

From kindergarten to fifth grade, Jaycee had the same teacher at the same school. Jaycee, the teacher, and I had a rhythm and understanding. We knew what to expect from each other. We had a good parent-student-teacher relationship, which made the six years of schooling easier. If I would not have liked the teacher, that would have been a loooong six years, but it wasn't like that at all.

This year, Jaycee will start a new program at a new school with a new teacher. Any parent in this situation would feel apprehensive. I'm no different. I know everything will be just fine after school gets started, but the unknown is always scary. Change is hard, especially if you have really enjoyed where you have been, but it's time to move forward.

I think any parent wants their child to have a caring and devoted teacher, but sometimes the person who teaches our child is completely out of our control. When there's no choice, information is key. Some parents in the regular education system take quite a bit of intel on their child's new teacher by peppering seasoned parents with questions, so they can be prepared and gauge how much success or trouble their child will have.

"How much homework does she give?"

"Is her classroom pretty strict or is it laid back?"

"Do children enjoy being in her classroom?"

"Is the teacher easy or too hard?"

The new teacher is important for any parent whether your child has a disability or not. Parents in the special education system ask similar questions trying to get a sense of what their child will face.

Unfortunately, I don't know too many parents at Jaycee's new school to contact and gather my normal intel. So, I feel like I'm heading into this school year with little information to go on. 

If I had five minutes to ask my child's new teacher anything (without any fear of seeming like a weirdo to a complete stranger), these are the things I would ask her or him:

-How many children will be in this class?

-Are there any students in the class who may harm my child? If so, what's the plan to keep her and the others safe?

-My child misses many school days due to illnesses, specialty appointments, and hospital admissions. What's your policy about making up work she misses?

-How often will you communicate with me about Jaycee's school days/activities because Jaycee cannot provide any of that information to me herself?

-Sometimes my child cannot go outside and play because the air may be too warm or cold for her lungs, how will this medical need be accommodated?

-My child uses signs, gestures, a communication device, and some verbal speech. How do you feel about a total communication approach? How comfortable are you with sign language or devices?

-My child is very routine and schedule oriented. If her transition to this new school is rough, what are some ways that you will support her? 

You might be surprised by things I would not ask the teacher. I really don't care how long they've been doing their job. I've seen great new teachers and wonderful experienced ones. The opposite can be true as well!

I wouldn't ask how much experience they have Down syndrome. My child is pretty unique, so it wouldn't really matter to me if Down syndrome was a new condition for them (though I doubt it is).

I really don't care what they do in their classroom for academics. I'm just not in that place in Jaycee's life anymore. Basic math and reading skills are important, and I'm sure they'll be addressed, but most of our daily life centers around her communication and medical needs.

For the record, I've never grilled a new teacher. I've always done it in my head, of course. Still, these are the things that are important to me. I hope the staff at the new school and I can get to the same place that I've been accustomed to with Jaycee's prior school experience. We'll soon find out....

I'm OK with My Child in Special Education

My sweet little girl with Down syndrome steps inside her classroom. Jaycee retrieves her folder from her backpack before hanging it up. Jaycee walks to her little basket containing basic toiletries to work on self-help skills. She brushes her teeth, brushes her hair, applies deodorant, and washes her face all on her own. She takes her seat in her desk ready to start her day at school.

In a typical day, Jaycee will have reading, spelling, writing, computers, social studies, and math. She has a full day, but it is a day tailored to her. The majority of her day is spent in a self-contained special education room specifically for children with (what I would consider) severe language and/or speech delays. Jaycee is now on her sixth year in this classroom that individualizes work on each child's level while trying to develop communication skills.

But, let's go back to the beginning. Jaycee started school the day she turned 3. Her first class was an early childhood classroom, which was a small class composed of children with developmental delays or diagnoses associated with delays/educational needs.

An Adorable Jaycee in Pre-school Stuck in a Classmate's Stander

It was not easy sending my very tiny and nonverbal three year old to school. The only comforting thing for me was her placement in the early childhood (EC) classroom. I liked the idea of a smaller classroom even if it meant that her classmates all had some sort of diagnosis.

I never second guessed her placement. Jaycee had about 5 spoken words at that time but was a proficient signer. She didn't understand safety and would run off without warning. She was not potty trained and wouldn't be until age 5. Jaycee was extremely delayed in her fine and gross motor skills as well. As a speech-language pathologist, I had worked in this very school the two years prior to having Jaycee. I knew what was expected from each child in the classrooms. I knew that the best fit for Jaycee would be the EC room.

A few months after she was an EC student, I was chatting with another parent of a child with a disability that was in another school district. She was very surprised I had consented to Jaycee being in an EC classroom. When I told her that I didn't have a problem with the placement, the mom assured me Jaycee needed to be with typically developing peers. When I explained that Jaycee was very, very, very delayed compared to her peers, the mom responded that Jaycee could probably be in that regular classroom with an aide. I really didn't see the need to put a Jaycee in a classroom that was significantly above her abilities just to be with typically developing peers when there was a perfectly fine specialized and individualized classroom with a teacher trained to help a child like my own.

After that conversation, I realized my choice wouldn't be favored among some. I got that mom's perspective. I really did. But, I wished she would have stopped to listen to mine. Every child with a disability or diagnosis is different, and that's why there's education laws.

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) here in America requires that children with disabilities receive the level of education they needed in the environment that is least restrictive, which is referred to as LRE. The principle behind LRE is that the child with the disability should spend as much time as appropriate with peers who do not receive special education.

The placement of a child is a case-by-case decision. A diagnosis does not mean that a child will be automatically placed into a special education room. School districts should not be placing all children with Down syndrome, for example, in a self-contained room on the basis of their diagnosis alone. Conversely, a child with a disability is not automatically assumed to need to be in the general education classroom. There are many factors to consider when deciding where a child should be placed and what level of support a child needs.

I'll be honest and say that Jaycee has always been in a very restrictive environment, but it's been the right one for her. She has always spent most of school day in a special education setting of some type. That being said, she has always had opportunities to be around peers during recess, physical education, lunch, class parties, music class, and library time. Everyone in her class knows her, and she has friends in the regular education room. Her time in a separate classroom has not isolated her from developing positive social relationships. More importantly, she has developed friendships with other students in her special education room.

Being in a special education classroom has not been detrimental to my child. Some parents I talk to fear that if their child is placed in a setting similar to Jaycee's that their child will not develop friendships, they will be isolated, they won't be challenged, they won't have good peer modeling, and that they will learn "bad" behaviors from the other students with disabilities. I get all of those concerns, but I have been more than happy with the attention and teaching my child has received in her special education classroom.

It's important to remember that there is no ONE single answer for placement for ALL children with disabilities. This has been the path and the decisions we have made for our child, and it seems to be working. That's why I'm ok with my child being in special education.

How do IEP meetings make you feel?

Today, I am over on Comfort in the Midst of Chaos with a post on IEP meetings. Have you ever dreaded them? Have they ever been a source of anger or stress for you? Here's my advice on what to do. Read it here:

When You Dread IEP Meetings

Therapy Tip: Winter Sensory Bin

Welcome to Therapy Thursday! This is the day I share a tip based upon my experience as a pediatric speech-language pathologist and a mother of a child with special needs. Today's tip is:

Winter Sensory Bin

Sensory bins are a fun and popular activity for young children. Sensory bins are simply containers filled with an item meant to provide some sort of texture to the child as they dig and feel around while playing. Other items are placed in the bin based upon the fine motor skills that are being targeted or vocabulary that is being addressed.


Working in homes of toddlers, I try to make up small sensory bins several times a year. Traveling from home to home, I pack a shoebox sized container for my sensory bin. This container is just the right size for one small child to play in and is easy for me transport. I generally don't fill the container completely full since some of the toddlers I work with will end up dumping out the contents.

This is an example of a winter sensory bin I do.

The base of the bin is simple cotton balls. These cotton balls provide a soft texture for the toddlers. After they dig around, I will usually rub the cotton balls on the child's hands and face too.

Here are some of the objects I put inside it.

For my winter sensory bin, I chose to focus on the color white, so that dictated what objects I put into the bin. Besides the cotton balls, I have a couple of white cups (plastic and Dixie), a couple of rabbits, a spider ring, white/black tiger, a cow, and an ice cream and egg from a play food set. Sometimes, I include items like white Styrofoam balls, white pipe cleaners, or white measuring cups. Generally, I use things laying around my home so that families can somewhat replicate my bin if they choose.

Using the items from my sensory bin described above, I can easily target many language skills. These include:

-Actions words: Dump, scoop, eat, drink

-Adjectives: White, soft, full, empty

-2 word phrases: White spider, Put in, Dump out, Hop bunny

-Vocabulary: Bunny, spider, ice cream, etc.

To work on these skills, I just play along side of the toddler as we dig through the bin. It's that simple!

The most important thing about any sensory bin is to find something that will meaningfully engage the child you are working with. I hope this gives you an idea for creating your own.

Therapy Thursday is for educational purposes only and not intended as therapeutic advice.

Awkward Moments

When you have a child with special needs, there are some unsuspecting, awkward moments that happen.  I hate when these awkward situations arise that I'm totally unprepared for. I never know how to react and are usually so stunned that I don't end up reacting at all at the time.

Imagine being me, the mom of a sweet child with Down syndrome who attends a special education program, when people make these statements:


"I heard some terrible news. The doctor thinks that Mrs. Jones is going to have a baby with Down syndrome."  

"I just found out that I'm having a baby with Down syndrome, and I'm not sure I want to keep it."

"We need to have special prayer with our church because we think we are having a baby with Down syndrome." Followed by several minutes of prayer for the unborn baby not to have Down syndrome.

"I wish my child didn't have to have an IEP. It's so sad."

"I don't want MY child is the special education room. That's for kids who are really bad off, not MY child." (I have heard this one several times!!!)

"I don't want MY child in the special education room with all those special ed kids who are mean and don't talk!"

"Can you believe she did that? She's so retarded?"

"I told him that he's doing it wrong. I told him that's the way the special kids do it."

*****

Ok, I know people make mistakes and sometimes you say some things without thinking. But, really sometimes I can't believe what people say to me. 

Please friends, family, and professionals, think before you speak and apologize if you said something offensive.

And to my fellow moms who find themselves in these awkward situations, practice forgiveness, love, and patience. Respond in love because most people really don't know they are being offensive.