31 for 21: I'm quitting.

An alarm beeps.
A iv pump hums.
The sound of a bipap giving breath never stops.
My daughter lays in ICU very sick with a respiratory issue.
Jaycee screams for "mama" as she is suctioned.
And I'm reminded how your life can change in an instant.


I had plans this month.
Down syndrome awareness month is important to me because of Jaycee.
I know how scared I was when the words "Down syndrome" hung in the air from a doctor.
I didnt know what challenges we would face and what life would be.
NIne years later, I know.
I know how hard some days are but I know the joy, the love, the happiness you feel when you open your heart to someone like Jaycee.
I know how love has more meaning when there's more chromosomes present.
And I know there are people everyday who are scared to take on a baby with Down syndrome.
And so I write, I advocate, I tell our stories, I try to tell people they can do this!

And I sign up to blog for 31 days in October for Down syndrome to raise awareness.
And now I quit on day 12.
Jaycee is in ICU and she needs me.
Raising awareness is important but nothing is as important as my daughter.
So as I officially quit this blog challenge, I wish you could sit in this hospital room, see what I see, feel what I feel for Jaycee and then blogs like this wouldnt be needed, because you would understand how powerful love is.